Make/Believe with Alyssa Faye

Make/Believe is where we start over - not from scratch, but from truth. This is where we remember what we actually want and learn to trust the part of us that always knew. Lets stop tolerating our life & start making the one that always should have been.

When Burning Everything To The Ground Isn't An Option, But The Fantasy Follows You Everywhere

What to do when change feels untenable but it's the only option you've got left.

Alyssa Faye

Feb 05, 2026

There’s something sexy about a bonfire.

The heat.

The protection.

The crackle that hints at danger and destruction, but promises a blank slate in return.

It’s a hypnotizing combination, relief and possibility, especially when you’ve been suffocating inside somebody else’s status quo, for maybe your whole life.

One fanned flame could burn everything to the ground…finally offering you the space where your life, your work, and your wildest ideas can finally breathe into existence.

But while the change you’re aching for feels all-consuming, it’s also untenable.

You’re struggling to decide what to make for dinner, let alone how to start rebuilding your life, all over again, from literal scratches in the dirt.

You’re just too far in.

Or are you?

I spent years asking myself that question, trying to muster the courage to burst out of the shapes that oppressed me instead of supported me.

The cliche response is that it’s never too late for change, especially the ones brewing inside you now, demanding release.

But knowing where to start? That’s a horse of a different color in a herd of black and white thinking.

Here’s the advice most people offer as the starting line:

Decide what you want, and begin implementing small aspects of those things into your life.

Simple enough, right? side eye

Welcome to the “Wonderful World of Wellness,” where pithy quotes are plentiful and real-life application is scarce - - something I hate and promise you’ll see done differently here.

It’s an “easy enough” prescription…but in my experience, after years, maybe decades, of people-pleasing and shape-shifting, knowing what I wanted, uninfluenced and without guilt, was the tallest, steepest mountain I had to face.

I didn’t have the tools to know what I wanted. Where to start. I just knew I wanted something very different.

Maybe you feel this way too?

If so, lets start at the REAL beginning: Learning enough about yourself to understand what the actual changes you want look and feel like.

After all, you cant make something without knowing what ingredients you need to create it.

Step 1: Start where you are

Start gathering the things you already know you love, (no questing, just doing), and get ridiculously curious about why you love them.

Songs.

Books.

Poems.

Movies.

TV shows.

Especially the ones with clear messages or themes.

Step 2: Make it visual

Start a Pinterest board called “ME.”

Pin images you’re drawn to.

Quotes that linger.

Room decor that, as my friend Jenn likes to say, “flips your skirt up.” Things that feel like the changes you’re desperate for, even if you’re not sure why yet.

Step 3: Notice the patterns

Start trying to articulate what themes are repeating. Why they resonate. What parts of you they turn on and why you think that is. Are there similar colors that are collecting? Romantic lines? Modern architecture?

Notice the language that starts to swell up in you around what you’re drawn to. The sensations and where in your body you’re feeling them.

Get comfortable with it.

Step 4: Get it out of your head

Start recording your answers somewhere:

your Notes app, a journal, a Google Doc, voice notes, whatever works.

Just short words or phrases as they come.

Tell yourself your safe to speak, write and feel the joy that sparks up.

The only rule?

Get it out of your head and into a document or on a page.

Not only will you want to reference these ideas later, you also need to start creating interior space in your mind and heart for what’s inevitably coming.

That’s it for now.

Honor yourself with time here. 5 minutes before bed…3 minutes with your morning coffee, over the course of a week or so. Don’t rush the process, but don’t let it become a chore either.

Your only job here is to notice and have fun. Fun is the whole point. Anything worth lasting should have its roots buried deep in fun.

Remember, don’t treat this like an assignment, treat it like the act of self-love it is. After all, YOU are the whole point of your life.

This is your first match strike.

The beginning flame where genuine change catches.

If you’ve enjoyed this exercise and are interested in more frameworks (not templates) for how to implement small changes in your life that add up to massive shifts…

When the outside noise of limiting beliefs or unworthiness start getting too loud…

Or if you’re craving conversations that stretch outside of the typical wellness mumbo-jumbo…

Make sure you’re subscribed. I’ll be sharing more soon.

“Words don’t just decorate our lives. They shape and build them.” - Alyssa Faye

Hey - I’m Alyssa.

A writer, artist, and speaker drawn to exploring what happens when we start naming things honestly- - and how that honesty translates into change.

I believe that finding language for what hurts, what we want, or what we’re avoiding can reclaim self-trust and agency, and help us form our own ways of living, leading, and creating. Ways that always should have been.

If you’re a Woman, Leader, Coach or Creative seeking change, but aren’t sure how to navigate it, stay close.