Make/Believe with Alyssa Faye

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Make/Believe is where we start over - not from scratch, but from truth.
This is where we remember what we actually want and learn to trust the part of us that always knew. Lets stop tolerating our life & start making the one that always should have been.

When Safety Cuts Off the Circulation

Alyssa Faye
May 19, 2026

I feel the rage in my throat.
In my head.
Pressure building that has no release valve... I want to explode.
I want to scream from the rooftops that life as I knew it is over....
And at the exact same time my vocal chords are bound with ribbons of fear.
Shiny red ribbons that look like protection, but cut off the circulation of honesty.

I was honest, once.
But what I wanted didn’t fit into their plan. So they tried to save me by making me believe my dreams were too good for me. That I’d never measure up.
That trying meant I’d failed at the most important thing: pleasing God and being a good, spiritual person.
Trying would make me disposable, for fear that my bad influence would rub off on others.
My truth turned into the problem.
So I buried it. Beat myself into submission for survival and tried to suffocate the grief of betrayal on two fronts.
A betrayal so deep, my wanting became invisible and turned into everything they wanted instead.

I can’t help wondering Who I’d be by now if I hadn’t been all tied up.
If I was completely free now.
If the people I’d trusted had led me towards my best interests instead of pacifying their own fears with my life.
If my belief in the systems around me actually deserved it, if the naivete instilled into me like a morality brand was protected instead of exploited.
Things could have been so different.
And yet here I am, in my 4th decade of life feeling like a newborn.
Breathing fresh air, and looking at how all the rules have changed…..

XOXO, Alyssa

When we’re young, we’re handed possibility like it’s ours for safe keeping.
We dream in full color - - the art, the singing career, the life that feels like us.
And then, slowly, those dreams become unacceptable.
Too much. Not practical. Who do you think you are?
So we put them down. And we kept going.
And then one day we’re standing in the middle of a life we can’t quite explain, wondering who we are and how we got there.

Make/Believe is where we start over — not from scratch, but from truth.
This is where we remember what we actually want. Where we learn to trust the thing inside us that always knew. Where we stop tolerating our life and start making the one that should have always been.