The Typewriter's Collage

Personal essays, stuff on the writing life, movies & books, Judaism, and lots of references to Chico Marx. Drafted on typewriter, edited in MS Word on a Mac, presented to you on SubStack. Serious stuff with a humorous foundation.

By Arnie Bernstein

· Launched 4 years ago

“Arnie Bernstein is a gifted writer, a teacher, and perhaps the most interesting character to emerge from Chicago since Studs Terkel. The Typewriter's Collage, besides its reverence for the quintessential writing tool, also offers unique perspectives on movies, books, and other high- to medium-brow topics.”
— Don Akchin, The EndGame

“Very smart, often fun, always perceptive essays from Arnie Bernstein via The Typewriter's Collage!”
— Christine Sneed, Bookish

“Nonfiction history author Arnie Bernstein shares his love of books, writing, the Marx Brothers, typewriters, and overlooked stories.”
— Sharon Woodhouse, The Profitable Author: Build a Business You Love

The Typewriter's Collage

The Persistence of Memory and the Bath School Bombing of May 18, 1927

Today, May 18, 2026 is the 99th commemoration of the first mass school murder in American history. Here is my introduction to the 2nd edition of my book…

May 18 • Arnie Bernstein

The Wisdom of a Rabbi Remembered

May 5 isn't just Cinco de Mayo. It's also the anniversary of my bar mitzvah. Here's a repost from three years ago on Rabbi Marc Wilson, who prepared me…

May 5 • Arnie Bernstein

My Columbine Birthday Redux: April 20, 1999

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. (Leonard Cohen…

Apr 20 • Arnie Bernstein

Springtime for Bernstein on April 20 redux

With my annual April 20 natal day, the return of my birthday observations April 20 used to be someone else's birthday. Not no more. Sieg heil, baby!

Apr 20 • Arnie Bernstein

The Typewriter's Collage Written on a Typewriter with Typing Paper

I've searched hither and yon for authentic typing paper. A trip to the Dollar Store became quest fulfilled (sort of)

Feb 9 • Arnie Bernstein

My 100 Percent Accurate Findings RE: Who Shot JFK Gains Traction!

My perfect solution to the JFK Assassination is getting attention from Very Influential People

Dec 17, 2025 • Arnie Bernstein

The JFK Assassination: I've uncovered how it REALLY went down!

Who killed JFK is to conspiracy buffs what Wednesday night bingo is to the Church of St Alfonso. So many squares to fill on so many cards. Thanks to an…

Dec 9, 2025 • Arnie Bernstein

I'm a scholar! 🎓 I craft vivid & truthful accounts! 💻 I get off-the-charts-bonkers emails! 😱

As an amatuer third-rate pulp hack wannabe, only the highest of the high inevitably reach out to tap into my talents. Case Study: two recent missives in…

Dec 3, 2025 • Arnie Bernstein

Thanksgiving: turkey, gravy, stuffing, pie, food comas, a crazy uncle's incoherent political gibble-gobbling. There's a lot to be thankful…

Thanksgiving gives us pause to think over what really matters. Enjoy these ten gems for which I am thankful.

Nov 26, 2025 • Arnie Bernstein

Behold! Miscellaneous Writing Tips, Advice, and Insights

As a sub-par, unknown, pulp hack wannabe I've picked up a few writing axioms here and there over the years, plus developed my own aphorisms. Here's a…

Nov 18, 2025 • Arnie Bernstein

A compilation of emails from fans praising my writing talents. They must be genuine, because nothing fake ever emerges from the internet. Right?

Nov 11, 2025 • Arnie Bernstein

The Typewriter's Collage