The Grudge Report

An apology to Lauren Bezos

I'm sorry.

Bess Kalb
May 05, 2026

Last night Lauren Sanchez Bezos was an “honorary co-chair” of the Met Gala because she is an arbiter of taste and style, and not because she is married to a billionaire she entrapped by surgically modifying herself to fulfill his rumored crush on Sofia Vergara.

I owe her an apology for what I wrote on Instagram last night. I’m going to reprint it all here, and include a dozen more things nobody should ever say about this stylish and cool person.

And I’m not just saying this because I am a working television writer who is actively pitching projects to streaming platforms including Amazon, I’m saying this because the woman is a timeless, regal human-looking person who seems like she’d be very kind to a spa attendant who accidentally dropped something while she was TRYING to relax.

So here goes. Lauren Sanchez Bezos, who legally has to share a bed with a man who looks like a cartoon turtle without its shell, wore this to the most important night in fashion:

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

I saw this look, styled by Law Roach in exchange for his voice which she wears in an amulet around her neck, and my initial reactions were — I freely admit — unfair. In case there are Amazon execs reading this, here are some observations I wrote that I disavow:

• This is the most “Mother of the Groom” I’ve ever seen a woman look not at her son’s Long Island country club wedding. This is the face she makes after ending her toast with, “And remember, he loved ME first, Sarah!”
• Her tailor is part of the resistance.
• It’s giving “The most requested Badgley Mischka mid-range gown on Rent the Runway” with dangly earrings from the case at the hair salon.
• It’s giving Oscars seat filler.