I'm A Single Woman Looking to Learn A Trade

Manners and Morals #10

May 12, 2026

Manners and Morals is a series for the readers of Polite Company. If you have a pressing concern or curiosity about some interpersonal or theoretical drama, feel free to email me at keturahskorner(at)gmail(dot)com. Your question will remain anonymous!

Hello Keturah,

I’d like to have a family one day, but right now I don’t have any promising romantic relationships on the horizon. I don’t want to spend my time as a single woman just waiting around or longing for something that may not align with God’s will. I’ve been considering picking up a skilled trade. There’s a solid chance for me to apprentice in the electrician’s union, and from what I can tell, the work itself would be engaging and satisfying. Still, I’m not entirely sure whether it’s the smartest way to use this season of my life. What are your thoughts? Does it make sense to go for this opportunity, or would my time be better spent in a different direction? Any advice you have to offer would be much appreciated.

Dear Reader,

I remember all too well being where you’re at now. Even when I was young, I never could relate to all my peers who sat around prepping for a marriage they were never promised. I wanted to get married, but I didn’t want to idly dream and find myself an aged, disappointed old-maid who’d done nothing but fill my hope-chest with things I never got to use.

However, I didn’t want to do something that would leave me ill-prepared for marriage, either. I wasn’t interested in pursuing a degree that might give me nothing but debt in exchange and a career that I’d have to abandon the moment I started having babies. Yet . . . if I wasn’t to marry or have children, I wanted to be doing something with my life.

I believe this question was a little easier for Christian women a couple hundred years ago. They used to have three clear choices: marry young and raise a family, remain at home and engage herself in feminine employment, or enter the convent and serve God in prayer and poverty. Now we modern women are encouraged to do one thing: get a job and become a little man. Marriage and even ministry-work can wait — because what if your husband leaves you or dies? The modern person is quite concerned with livelihood.

It’s complicated further because we are expected to make good use of our youth and maybe even prolong our singlehood in order to secure an education that pays.

I’m not wholly against this. I’m all for education especially when it involves expanding the mind through literacy. Furthermore, I’m not opposed to women working. Women have always worked.

The real question here is what sort of job is appropriate for a Christian woman who hopes to be a mother and wife someday?

I believe you must keep two things in mind when pursuing education and employment. Will this help you if you are widowed or never married? Will the work environment nourish your femininity or ask too much of you? And will you also be able to use this skill as a mother and wife? 1

I don’t believe the electrician union would be a healthy environment for a young woman. While it may be cool to fix your own household electricity if you became a mother, it’s hardly worthwhile to pursue an apprenticeship for that reason alone. You would be in a male dominated field and many of your co-workers would likely be perverse and impolite and have no regard for your femininity.

I strongly recommend choosing something that would permit you to foster all your best feminine qualities. House-cleaning, tutoring, nannying, and clothing alterations are all great lines of work that pay well and empower a woman regardless what season of life she is in. These are also easy jobs to pick up and quit as needed. If you considering obtaining a degree, choose something that you won’t regret being in debt for even if you never have the chance to use it in any way other than with your own children.

I would also encourage you to not work away all your single days. While it’s nice to have a fat dowry for marriage (I did), now is the one of the only times in life you’ll have with no obligations to little children and so you can make yourself available to other mothers or older women or do some sort of ministry work. You can also use this time to expand your skills or travel. I wrote about some things you can do while you’re single here.

Whatever you choose to do, never forget to choose things that will nourish your femininity. Trust God and He will bring you where you need to be.

If you know any young women discerning their vocation, send them this essay.

Men also have to ask themselves similar questions. Although it may seem men have more options, they are certain degrees or jobs that would be unwise for a man to pursue. There should be some guarantee that his line of work will still exist in twenty or thirty years, that it can support a family, and that what he does serves the world outside of himself.

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