The Polygamist Is Overrated — And We’re Asking the Wrong Questions

Why we obsess over Jonas Gomora while ignoring the choices that make his lifestyle possible

Jun 14, 2026

Watching The Polygamist, one thing becomes clear. People are obsessed with Jonas. Every discussion revolves around his choices, his lifestyle, and his relationships. But I think the show is overrated because it focuses our attention on one person while ignoring a bigger reality. The truth is that no man, whether a polygamist or a serial cheater, operates in isolation. Relationships involve more than one person. While Jonas is often portrayed as the central figure, the women around him are rarely subjected to the same level of scrutiny.

This raises an uncomfortable question: if a woman knows a man is married or already committed and still chooses to pursue a relationship with him, what responsibility does she carry?

Modern conversations about infidelity tend to place all the blame on the person who made the commitment. And yes, the husband or boyfriend who cheats is responsible for betraying trust. But that does not mean everyone else involved is free of accountability. A relationship outside a marriage cannot exist with only one willing participant. If someone knowingly enters a relationship with a married person, they are making a conscious choice. They may not have broken the vows, but they are helping create the circumstances that allow those vows to be broken.

This is why I think The Polygamist misses an opportunity. Instead of asking why men like Jonas exist, perhaps we should ask why so many people are willing to participate in situations that hurt others. Why do people accept being second, third, or fourth in someone else’s story? What needs, desires, or expectations make these arrangements attractive? The reality is that people like Jonas will always exist. The more interesting question is why there are always people willing to join them.

Perhaps the show is not really about one man at all. Perhaps it is a reflection of society’s willingness to normalize choices that many claim to oppose. And until we examine the role every participant plays, we will continue discussing the symptoms while ignoring the cause.