PRIMED UP DAILY

June 24, 2026

Top Headlines

Hormuz Drama Returns, Markets Shrug, Nothing's Fixed

• Oil dips on tanker movement hints through the Strait of Hormuz but let’s be real, this shit is a temporary exhale between crises, not a resolution, because Iran is still sitting on the choke point for 20% of the world’s oil supply like a landlord who knows you can’t afford to move.
• Tech stocks are crawling back after the Nasdaq bled over a trillion dollars in value in two sessions, and investors are watching Micron’s earnings like they’re hoping for a pulse after a flatline.
• Gold is down nearly 2% and the euro is getting stomped because the dollar is flexing while the Fed keeps threatening rate hikes, and the ECB looks increasingly like it's bringing a wet noodle to a knife fight.

Trump Literally Called a Prosecutor to Rig a Primary

• At a stupid self fellating rally in PA, this fat corrupt fuck openly bragged to a crowd that he personally called a federal prosecutor and told him to intervene in the tabulation of California’s gubernatorial primary because he didn’t like the vote counts coming in for his handpicked candidate.
• He said “do me a favor, they’re trying to steal that election” to a sitting U.S. Attorney, and then had the balls to brag about it publicly as if that’s a normal thing a non-criminal president does.
• Within an hour of Trump’s call, suddenly the media was projecting his guy Steve Hilton as the winner, and Trump is out here taking credit for bending a federal law enforcement official to his will like it’s a fucking achievement to be proud of.
• This is textbook obstruction and abuse of power dressed up as a rally applause line, and the crowd cheered because at this point his base will clap for anything short of him eating someone on stage.

DOJ Is Now Trump's Personal Cleanup Crew and Bouncer

• In 48 hours this administration deployed the National Guard to guard a peeling, algae-infested pool that turned green because some genius thought painting it navy blue wouldn’t cook the water and breed swamp life, then tried to blame saboteurs with “corrosive chemicals” for what was obviously a $14.7 million non-bid contracted fuck-up.
• Law enforcement is literally out there writing citations for vandalism at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool while the DOJ quietly buries backlogged investigations into international pedophile rings and human trafficking networks that have been deprioritized under this administration’s restructuring.
• Then Trump pivoted overnight to ordering the DOJ to investigate oil companies for not dropping gas prices fast enough after HIS military escalation with Iran briefly shut down the Strait of Hormuz and spiked prices in the first place, the audacity of this ass is truly something to behold.

He has now directed the DOJ to do more about a fucking pool and gas station economics than he has ever done about the Epstein files. Let that sick shit marinate over your morning coffee because that is the actual reality of this criminal enterprise in DC…

Trump Lost the Iran War and Burned a Decade of Ammo

• Operation Epic Failure burned through precision-guided munitions, cruise missiles, and air-defense interceptors at a rate that outstripped Western manufacturing capacity in under 120 days, and now the White House has been forced to invoke the Defense Production Act to beg defense CEOs to please make more bullets because the cupboard is bare. GM is one of the companies jumping on board…shitty car maker is now going to make missiles. How the mighty have fallen!
• The Patriot and THAAD stockpiles are at Cold War-era lows, Iran’s deep underground nuclear facilities survived the entire air campaign intact, and Tehran is now in Switzerland dictating terms for sanctions relief and frozen asset releases while this administration tries to spin a conditional ceasefire as anything other than a full strategic ass-kicking.
• Iran endured all of the Trump & Bibi bullshit, drained their weapons supplies to nil, and is currently dictating terms to American negotiators, demanding full sanctions relief and billions in frozen assets as the price for not strangling global oil again, and this administration is getting cucked at the table while calling it diplomacy.

China Has the World's Fastest Supercomputer. Tariffs Did That.

• China’s LineShine supercomputer in Shenzhen just dethroned the U.S. El Capitan as the world’s most powerful computer, the first time a Chinese machine has topped the Top500 list since 2017, and it achieves over 2 quintillion calculations per second running entirely on conventional CPUs, not GPUs.
• Supercomputers model climate systems, simulate nuclear explosions, perform virtual weapons testing, and hunt for medical breakthroughs, so losing the top spot is not just an ego bruise, it is a genuine national security and technological competitiveness gut punch.
• This is a completely avoidable outcome accelerated by Trump’s idiotic tariff war with China, a country that controls the rare earth materials needed to build the advanced chips that power these systems, and instead of playing chess he walked into that fight holding a checkers board and a red hat.
• The tariffs didn’t bring manufacturing back, they drove up costs, fractured supply chains, and handed China every incentive to sprint ahead in the very tech and AI sectors where American dominance is most critical, so congratulations to the guy who slapped duties on everything and got us lapped in the most important technological race of the century.